For those of you who don't quite get soccer, let me put it this way. We can liken the game against Algeria on Wednesday as Game 6 of the League Championship Series. Right now we are up 3-2, unless you are Koman Coulibaly, then it's tied at 2. We need to win is the mentality, that keeps Game 7 from happening. When you win Game 6 of the ALCS you are in to the World Series. We already got through the Divisional Series in CONCACAF Qualifying, now we must fight through the LCS (Group Stage) in order to get the World Series (the knockout round).
Hopefully I've cleared that up.
Now, if we lose... we go home... So then why isn't this Game 7 if we go home with a loss? Well you see we need to win, but if we don't we still stand a chance.
So we don't need to win, but we need to win. You see a tie, keeps us alive. But you know what they say about ties? Do you really want to HAVE TO kiss your sister in order to stay alive. An interesting philosophical debate for another time, but we are talking about soccer now.
We need to win, but just in case, who do you cheer for? Well it's actually pretty simple. You see, Slovenia are on top of the Group with 4 points, the US and England are tied with 2 and Algeria sits at the bottom, but they're 1 point is a sniper sitting on a hill, 500 yards away, just waiting for his moment. If the US were to draw (the fancy term for tie), that sniper would be sent back to home base. And the US would be on 3 points, and as long as Slovenia win would go through. So you see we should cheer for Slovenia in the case of a tie.
Now it's possible that Slovenia doesn't come through in our time of need. Not to worry, we still have another out. We don't need to an "Ace on the river card" to win this hand. In fact all we need is a low pot that gets split. You see, the tiebreaker in the World Cup is goal differential. But with 3 ties your goal differential is 0. So they look at goals scored. Right now the US holds a 3-1 advantage over England. In the case of two draws, all the US has to do is score less than 2 goals less than England. In other words unless England draws 4-4, the US are in pretty good shape but we need to win.
We need to win because we could win the group. Yes, it's possible. You see, depending on how many goals England score, we could win the Group. And depending on how many goals England score, we might not advance.
Both games start at the same time, so on Wednesday when you have your picture in picture, or you go somewhere with more than one TV (recommended) here is the breakdown of what you should do in a few situations.
-England go up 1-0 in the 7th minute, we are still tied at 0: Don't freak out, the US have plenty of time. In fact if we win 1-0 we still would win the group.
-US go down 1-0 in the 7th minute, other game still tied at 0: Don't freak out, the US have plenty of time. In fact if we win 2-1 we still win the group.
-US go up 1-0 in the 7th minute and the other game is still tied at 0: Don't freak out, the US have plenty of time. But this would be a perfect way to end the games.
-Slovenia go up 1-0 in the 37th minute, we are still tied at 0: Grab your friends and do the little circle dance thing that they do. Since Slovenia is a small country, Tony Meola Sidekick Soccer just came out on SNES and I'm pretty sure thats where they got the goal celebration from. (I know I'm the only person who gets that joke, but then again, I'm the only person who reads this.)
-Both games are tied at 0-0 in the 37th minute: Get another beer and go to the bathroom you probably won't miss anything.
-England go up 1-0 in the 73rd minute, we are still tied 0-0: Start cheering for Slovenia and of course keep cheering for the US, if either one scores life goes on.
-England go up 3-2 in the 73rd minute, we are still tied 0-0: Now we are in trouble, at this point Slovenia really can't help us, we need to score. ***(If we were to win 1-0 it would be extremely fun, to break the tie they go to Goal Differential)
-Algeria go up 1-0 in the 73rd minute: Freak out!
-US go up 1-0 in the 88th minute, the other game is tied 0-0: Freak Out! And start tossing high-fives like beanbags in a cornhole tournament (carefully, but have fun)
-US go up 1-0 in the 88th minute, the other game is tied 1-1: We go through, but when the dust settles we'd be in the same situation as the *** scenario (Maybe you should go read it)
-Slovenia go up 1-0 in the 89th minute, US is up 1-0: Be a little bit upset, we just lost the top spot in the group. Then cheer for whoever you want to play in the knockout stage to win a few hours later.
I think you can figure out what other antics you should do depending on scores. If not just ask and I'll quip back at you.
***(In this scenario, if we were to win 1-0 it would be extremely fun. Both teams would have 5 points and advance, but to break the tie they go to Goal Differential. England would be sitting at +1, with the US at +1. Next would be Goals Scored. England would have 4, the US would have 4. The next tiebreaker is Head to Head. Pretty sure that does no good, as the teams tied 1-1. That puts us to FIFA's All-Time Greatest tiebreaker Drawing of Lots, woo-hoo!)
hehehe. A SNES reference :-)
ReplyDelete