Cain Park 2009

Cain Park has released it's 2009 schedule for what I believe to be the first time in The Plain Dealer Friday magazine. Being a supporter of the Arts in the Heights (not by money, but by title) let's talk about it a little bit.

The following are shows that must be paid for. So Rootstock and Terrence Simien "fingers crossed" do not appear on the schedule.

The season kicks off on Wednesday, June 13 in the Evans Ampitheater with Anne Cochran. Cochran is best known for her hit single "Someone is Missing at Christmas" and for touring with Jim Brickman. Just what Cleveland needs a Christmas singer in June!
INTEREST: ZERO

The day before (Tuedsay, June 12th) in the Alma Theater is Harry Bacharach, a dead politician from Atlantic City. I'm assuming this is not that Harry Bacharach but with the attendance at some of the shows last season, maybe a dead guy would draw as well. A little more research shows me that Bacharach is a Cleveland based blues/jazz piano guy. A quick sample of one of his songs isn't to bad
INTEREST: FOUR

Another Alma Concert Series show on 6/16 is Gershwin '29. I would expect this to be some type of Gershwin Tribute. Though I'm not big on Gershwin, this show will probably do well.
INTEREST: THREE

JUNE 18TH sees the third show of the Alma Concert Series... September Songs, and again I have no idea what this is. Maybe a cover badn playing hits like Earth, Wind and Fire's "September" or The Temptations "September in the Rain"
INTEREST: N/A DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS

Finally we are back to the Evan's for Kelly Bell Band. They are not related to "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" hottie Kristen of the same last name. In fact Kelly Bell is a pretty cool looking blue playing black guy with dreads (he even has his own bobble-heads). I'm not much of a blues fan, but these guys look like they might be fun.
INTEREST: SIX

Playrights Weekend is the 19-21.

Big Cool Cats Music Festival on June 20th... Who's on the bill?
-70 Lewis, "a young alternative/progressive pop band featuring soulful vocals similar to Freddy Mercury on top of the pop sensibilities of Ben Folds." Sounds like fun!
-Cats on Holiday w/ the Mifune horn section. I played soccer with the guys from Mifune and they are a cool group. Mifune will play later. Here is there take on Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash .
-Mo Mojo a zydeco band
-Magpies indie/folk revivalists, Cleveland Scene "best Americana band"
-Mifune, afro-electronique they've got a really cool sound
-Ital, "old school reggae"
The show concludes with a jam session on the colonnade. It's a unknown Cleveland band festival, so it will be interesting. 70 Lewis looks real cool.
INTEREST: EIGHT

Long Road: Unbound in the Alma series It's the Budin group doing another benefit concert that people will flock to see. Not me, If i want to hear a cover band sing folk songs, I'll turn on Gone Country! on GMC.
INTEREST: THREE

"Happily Ever After" on 6/24 is a kids theater show, that will not star Hilary Duff despite it being dubbed a Cinderella tale.
INTEREST: TWO, unless Duff is there NINE

June 25 see Eric Bibb, who is not a member of the Bee Gees, maybe he is like Jon Bovi from SNL. Doubt it though, he is actually a blues guitar player. Because there are enough of those playing at Cain Park.
INTEREST: THREE

Groundworks Dancetheater... not reviewing

The first gig that people will have actually heard of comes on the 27th of June. She may be 69 but she's a Grammy Winner and that's Judy Collins. I'd rather see Joan Baez or Joni Mitchell but hey you can have every 60 something folk singing activist. Folk singing activists are so good because they are double negatives... folk singing and activist.
INTEREST: SIX, someday I can say I went to a Judy Collins concert, none of the music was relevant to 2009 when we had a Black President, and could have had a woman president.

The last concert in June is in the Alma and it's Cleveland guitarist Brian Henke. Henke puts on a good show, but I don't understand why people pay to see him when you can see him for free and the Metroparks.
INTEREST: FIVE

Livingston Taylor, who is the New York Jets of his family's musical talent, will be back for the upteenth year in a row. Just once could we get James to come along? maybe? just ocne it's all I ask.
INTEREST: THREE
That same night which is July 2nd is Juliette Regnier in concert. She's a singer that does not interest me.
INTEREST: ZERO

Arts Festival is the next weekend in between and a quick look at the schedule allows me to uncross my fingers, Yes I've been typing this with crossed fingers the whole time of course.

Brings us to July 17th for the band Eclectica, one would think that Eclectica would be a band of all sort of varieties, like having a band called Miscellaneous or Variety. Rather they are a jam band Supergroup bringing together the likes of Tracy Silverman on electric violin, Roy "Futureman" Wooten of Bela Fleck and the Flecktones on drums and Steve Forrest on bass. Here they are without Forrest, but with Wooten and Silverman and a high school orchestra
INTEREST: EIGHT

How about pairing up two of the greatest folk legends ever when Arlo Guthrie and Richie Havens take the stage on the same night. I don't know if it will be together or not, but should be a great show. That's on July 18th.
INTEREST: SEVEN

Of course 5 days later you can hear another folk legend, at least in terms of satirical music in John McCutcheon. McCutcheon will play a Kidzart show the day before.
INTEREST: SIX

As an usher we were told either Big Bad Voodoo Daddy or Squirrel Nut Zippers would be there, obviously you can't have two contemporary swing groups in the same summer. So obviously go with the lesser known one because odds are they are cheaper. So on July 25th you can come watch the Squirrel Nut Zippers. These guys haven't released a single since 1998, but there music has appeared in a bunch of films (mostly starring Brendan Fraser) like "Blast from the Past" and "Monkeybone" since 2001
INTEREST: SIX

Pointe of Departure takes stage on July 31st they are not Human but Dancer.

Pippin begins that night and runs through 8/23. Due to nobody watching "old musical theater," by old I mean, not Wicked, Avenue Q, and stuff that my generation thinks is good musical theater anymore the Park is going with one "show." Honestly I know nothing about.

Tartan Terroes come to town oon August 1st, and likely the Scots will be out of World Cup Qualifying by then. These guys look like tons of fun, what Celtic group isn't. There most popular song is Scotland Depraved. Got to love a group that says, "be aware we wrote this song after non-alcholic drinks... American Beer"
INTEREST: TEN

Verb Ballets more dancing. When is Soulja Boy gonna come to the Evans.

Over the Rhine on August 8th, not sure how to describe them. Here is what the website says "post-nuclear, pseudo-alternative folk-tinged art pop." Heres the classic Hallelujah, yes the song from Shrek which sounds much different than the song "The World Can Wait"
INTEREST: SEVEN

Soul and Heart Festival on the 14th, is Budin's group that already played earlier in the season Long Road, along with his brother Noah. Prayer Warriors (pop-gospel) and Kristine Jackson (contemporary blues, which I think means Aimee Mann?)
INTEREST: FIVE, If not to hear what the Prayer Warriors have to offer.

The next day brings in Canadian crooner Matt Dusk, those Canadians always working for less money than Michael Buble or Robin Thicke. Hmph, still he has a good voice and I think with the right promos the girls will go crazy for this one.
INTEREST: SIX

On the 16th a band you may have heard of called The Beach Boys take over and I'm guessing we won't be able to use our vouchers. Do I need to say anything about The Beach Boys?
INTEREST: TEN

Dancing Wheels more dancing

Everyones favorite 3 hit wonder? Maybe two hit wonder, but I can name three of their songs. Possibly the most under-appreciated band of the 90s. Gin Blossoms & Tonic Tour become the penultimate concert this summer on 8/21. Tonic Tour is a group I don't knwo anything about, possible an a capella group based on a wiki search, but I'm not sure.
INTEREST: ELEVEN!

Fan favorite Pavlo finishes the year up on August 22nd. I haven't seen him yet, but the Mediterranean "master showman" is supposed to be brilliant. Maybe this is the year.
INTEREST: SEVEN

Also there are five $2 Tuesday concerts you might want to check out. For $2 even if they suck, you only payed TWO FRICKIN BUCKS
-6/16 Steve Jochum and Big Zipper - I guess he is pretty well known in Cleveland, a rock-guitarist
-6/30 Walkin' Cane and Megan Slankard. Walkin' Cane is a blue guy who sounds pretty good on all his instruments. Megan Slankard might be hot, but I need to see for myself. Listed as a rock singer/songwriter, upon first look I have a feeling she is going to be a Fiona Apple or Liz Phair type artist. I like her and she only 5 years older than me, lol.
-7/14 Skinny, innovative pop-funk, whatever that means. I think I'm an innovative blogger, if I wasn't I certainly wouldn't be charging $2 for you to read this.
-7/28 Jonathan Kingham, a songwriting contest winner, and by the looks of things it was a pretty big contest National Telluride Troubadour Songwriting Contest (ever heard of it?)
-8/11 Arrogant Worms. These guys are a can't miss comedy trio. Think The Wiggles grow up and meet They Might be Giants who then crash a Barenaked Ladies concert and you have what I would describe the Arrogant Worms as. Check our Carrot Juice is Murder and Rippy the Gator. You might like Rocks and Trees, a brilliant anthem for Canada.

NFL Draft

It's been a while. I apologize. A wise man once said "never let facts get in the way of a good story," hence I have no facts for why it's been so long.

Apparently there is this thing coming up on Saturday called the NFL Draft, and for the next 36 hours or so, we will hear every rumor imaginable...

-New York Jets make three way trade for Sage Rosenfels and Rex Grossman. One will start on Rosh Hashanah the other will star on Yom Kippur.
-Brady Quinn still on the board.
-Detroit Lions draft a receiver with the #1 pick.

However what we here in Cleveland are looking for is a pick that is not botched. I'm looking to get rid of Braylon Edwards and Derek Anderson as well, but it seems that only the Browns think Edwards is still worth a a 1st and a 3rd round pick. Not to mention how bad D.A. looked last night for the Fusion... his trade value is falling more and more each day.

Here are what some NFL guys have the Browns doing and what I think

Scott Wright of www.draftcountdown.com -- Michael Crabtree WR, Texas Tech
STUPID. Unless they trade Edwards they don't need Crabtree, especially when it been proven that late round receivers can have impact. Crabtree is not going to win games for this team, look at Calvin Johnson in Detroit. He's a great receiver, but they went 0-16 last year.

Mel Kiper of www.overrateddraftniks.com -- I'm not paying to read his crap analysis so I'll have to wait until Saturday when I hear him babble constantly during the draft.

Todd McShay of ESPN --BJ Raji DT, Boston College
Sure why not, I understand he can possibly play linebacker as well and assuming Aaron Curry is gone, he might be the best defensive player available.

draftzoo.com -- Aaron Maybin DE, Penn State
Not bad, I think him Orakpo are going to have similar careers, so why not take the guy with less injury history

WalterFootball.com -- Brian Orakpo DE/OLB, Texas
see above

Those are a few mock draft. Here are some things I do not want to see happen.
-Browns trade Brady Quinn and/or pick Mark Sanchez... Sanchez is not going to be that good, I'm not ready to give up on Brady Quinn
-Any Ohio State player or any player from the state of Ohio going to Pittsburgh... I'm tired of that, Holmes, Roethlisberger and Harrison.

Things I want to see happen.
-Browns trade Edwards and use the pick they get for Beanie Wells or Knowshon Moreno in that order
-Browns draft Pat White out of WVU
-J'Nathan Bullock ends up with the Browns be it with the 7th rounder or a Undrafted FA
-Detroit to take Mark Sanchez and get him off the baord so the Browns don't take him.
-Randy Lerner brings on of the Brad's from Aston Villa to punt on Sundays.

Missed Promotions (AL East Edition)

DJ Gallo of ESPN's Page 2 gave his Best and Worst MLB Promotions a week or so ago. (read here)

But what about the promotions that didn't quite make it on the schedule.

AL EAST
The one they did
Tampa Bay Rays
Check out the Post-Game concert lineup Ludacris, Pat Benatar, Smash Mouth, Daughtry, B-52s, Big & Rich, and The Beach Boys
The one they missed
Bindi the Jungle Girl and the Crocmen. Check out "Animal Life" & "Trouble in the Jungle"
If you don't get it, then you and I clearly don't have the same sense of humor.

The one they did
Boston Red Sox
NOTHING, they don't have promotions listed on the website.
The one they missed
ABSOLUTly nothing, if your not going to do any promotions at least get a sponsor to not do any promotions

The one they did
New York Yankees
Dunkin Donuts Gift Card Night
1st 18,000 fans 21 and older receiver gift cards of a non-descript demonination
The one they missed
After the game you can sell back your gift cards to Jonathan Albaledejo (6'5 260) and CC Sabathia (6'7 290)

The one they did
Toronto Blue Jays
Magnet Schedule Day, Magnet Schedule Day, Magnet Schedule Day
Yes they gave away magnet schedules all three games during Opening Week
The ones they missed
Toronto F.C. Magnet Schedule Day, they draw more and have a chance to compete in the East.
Teetotaler Day... oh wait

The one they did
Baltimore Orioles
Orioles Alumni Autograph Series "Every Monday and Thursday home game at Camden Yards, come meet some of your favorite former Orioles! Two to three former players will be signing autographs at the MASN Booth on Eutaw Street (near Gate A) from one and a half hours before the game until 30 minutes before the first pitch."
The one they missed
Sidney Ponson Autograph Series "Every Monday and Thursday home game at Camden Yards, come meet some of your favorite former Orioles! Two to three former players will be signing autographs at the MASN Booth on Eutaw Street (near Gate A) from one and a half hours before the game until 30 minutes before the first pitch."

RIP Nick Adenhart

There isn't really much to blog about here. It's frustrating that drunk drivers still drive and put themselves and others in dangerous situations, I can get on my high-horse about how stupid drunk-driving is, but what purpose would it serve?
I can tell you about how I've been following Nick Adenhart for the past few years, as a fantasy player, but more importantly as a baseball fan. This kid was going to be something special, I really believe that. Not just because Baseball America tells me so, but Adenhart seemed like a good kid, with a good head on his shoulders and excellent stuff. He was one of a new class of pitchers that wasn't going to change the game, but bring flare. Adenhart along with guys like Maz Scherzer, Clayton Kershaw and Brandon Morrow (until he went rogue closer on us) are guys I would to pay to see pitch. I'll watch Zambrano and Webb on TV, but the young guns are what people want to see. But even after a paragraph of that, I don't feel like I've given you any useful insight.
However, I think the thing that hits me hardest about this tragedy is tragedy itself. Unfortunately we live in a world where tragedy happens; kids bring guns to school, terrorist bomb buildings and Juliet fakes her death while Romeo never gets the memo. But sports are supposed to be our escape from the real world. Stuff like this is not supposed to happen, NFL Players are not supposed to drown on fishing trips, fans are not supposed to be trampled in stampede, team buses and planes are not supposed to crash.

Don't Look Now... BUT

Some may call it rude to discuss physical attractiveness in terms of sports?

The WNBA can clearly attest to that, it's why nobody watches. Quick name the hottest player in the WNBA... waiting, waiting, waiting. Quick name a player in the WNBA... waiting, waiting, waiting. For the three of you that named Rebecca Lobo for the latter... she retired in 2003, for those who named her for the former... you should probably have that checked out. For those of you who named Rebecca Rushin... two points for you.

For years men have turned to European tennis girls for physical attractiveness. Anna,
Maria, Daniela, and Rafa. Every once in a while the States turn out a presentable racketeer like Alexa Glatch (currently 111th in the world), but unless you want to stretch and count Serena Williams and maybe Chris Evert, in her prime, the US has never provided the tennis world with a dime-piece like the Russians can.

American "hotties" come from otherwise un-talked about Olympic sports. Tennis is in the Olympics but the Olympics aren't even one of the 4 most important events and they only happen every 4 years, which by my math means there are 16 events more important than the Olympics every 4 years. The US has produced Amanda Beard and Natalie Coughlin- swimming, Misty May and Kerri Walsh - beach volleyball (look at them when they were younger what guy would not want to go to high-school or college with them), Jennie Finch- softball, a you-pick-it of pint-sized Gymnastics cuties and Sasha Cohen (honestly who didn't see that coming) - ice skating. Hope Solo (who I don't like, but can't argue that she is hot) and Heather Mitts (2004 ESPN Page 2 hottest female athlete) and yes even Mia Hamm (though not playing anymore), make appearances every couple years for a tournament like the Olympics or the World Cup.
Other than Danica Patrick and all of her overratedness, who can be seen in Nascar/Formula One/Funny Car Road Rallies all the time. We lack the weekly source of American hotties in sports.

So after the longest set-up to a blog ever I'm gonna tell you,

Don't Look Now... BUT you may want to start checking out the LPGA Tour. Yes the same LPGA Tour that gave us these women (1) (2) (3). Has now given us Natalie Gulbis (2002), and in the past 4 years, Erica Blasberg (2005) Paula Creamer (2005), , Brittany Lincicome (2005), Charlotte Mayorkas (2007), Tayor Leon (2008), Anna Rawson (2008), Tina Miller (Futures Tour) Courtney Erdman (Futures Tour). What's even better is that Rawson is the only non-American.

Oh yeah and by the way, the best player on the tour, Lorena Ochoa, is certainly not one to scoff at. So who's watching the Corona Championship in 2 weeks?

*(First full-time tour card, not when they became professional)

The Art of the No-Look Pass

In terms of skill and excitement the No-Look Pass is right up there with the alley-oop, the bicycle kick and the back-handed glove flip byt the shortstop to the second basemen, who relays the throw to first, spinning around to set his body while jumping over the base-runner sliding at him to get the double play.

However there is a fine-line between the No-Look Pass and the Look-Away Pass, and the line increasingly gets crossed the more and more sports that make it on TV. At this rate when the Scrabble Championship shows up on The Ocho, somebody will blindly give up their turn, not even looking at the tiles. However if that same person contemplates their tiles for a minute and then looks elsewhere and says "pass," the result is the same but reached in a different way.

For example ... Steve Nash- No-Look or Look-Away? This one is a No-Look because when he releases the ball he can't see his teammate Grant Hill in the corner. But if you pay close attention, he pump fakes to him at 0:07, so he does sort of Look-Away

However this one ... Ronaldinho- No Look or Look-Away? At 0:12 which way is the "world's most creative player" looking??? DIRECTLY AT THE GUY HE IS GOING TO PASS IT TO!, if you didn't see that through ball coming than, there is no reason you should be playing in French Ligue 1. While Ronaldinho's passing takes skill to accomplish, a through ball of that variety is not easy, ask any high-school soccer player, he has single-handedly destroyed the No-Look Pass. He's made a name for himself performing the No-Look Pass by staring down his receiver as if he were Derek Anderson and then turning his head like Linda Blair as Regan MacNeil. Ronaldinho - No-Look or Look-Away 2, Ronaldinho - No Look or Look-Away 3, Ronaldinho - No-Look or Look Away 4... Is it essential that we need a 5th one? YES Ronaldinho - No-Look or Look-Away 5. And that is not the same play as #4, although they look pretty darn close. U14's make these passes and when succesful the coach (usually the kid's Dad) applauds as if he did something only Ronaldinho can do, while said father is halfway correct, his kid just made a big deal about a simple square ball, it is not that impressive because most 13-year-olds playing soccer have full mobility range in their necks and are capable of turning their head.

So here are a few more
LeBron James -No-Look or Look-Away?,
Jason Kidd- Definite No-Look!
Douchebag Wannabe- No-Look or Look-Away? Does it matter?

I checked Urban-Dictonary for a "hood" definition of a No-Look Pass. And needless to say didn't find what I was looking for. So I went to the next most reliable source Wikipedia. In the section Basketball moves, this one-of-a-kind pass is defined as ...

Blind pass

Also known as a no-look pass, the blind pass is performed when a player looks in one direction but passes the ball to his target in another direction. Blind passes are risky and infrequently attempted, but when done correctly, can confuse the defense. The no-look pass has been popularized by players such as Pete Maravich, Isiah Thomas, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Jason Kidd, Kobe Bryant, and Steve Nash.

As you can see clearly this is not a reliable soure, because Kobe Bryant hasn't made a pass since 2002.

So what can we do to fix this fairy-tale that is the No-Look Pass? The wikipedia definition gets it mostly correct. When a player looks in one direction but passes the ball t his target in another direction. GOOD. Blind passes are risky and infrequently attempted, but when done correctly, can confuse the defense. GOOD. But there is nothing about the release of the pass. In order for a real No-Look Pass to occur the guy who makes the dish should

A. be looking the opposite direction when "beginnning the motion to release the ball." When Ronaldinho begins to play his passes he is looking at his target and then looks somewhere else. As I have stated numerous times, NOT A NO-LOOK!

B. be looking the opposite direction for at least the final 2/3rds of the time involved in the play. If the exchange takes three seconds he better be looking a different direction for the final two seconds of that play. (Like in Steve Nash's pass earlier, he never actually looks at Grant Hill once the play begins, but the pump fake alerts the viewer that he knows he is there). If the exchange only takes 1 second, for those of you scoring at home, you should probably avoid that road next time. But the basketball player better be looking a different direction for .67 seconds of that play.