Proud Fan of the Most Hated Team in the Majors!

The Wall-Street Journal has declared the Cleveland Indians the MLB’s most hated team. Using an Internet algorithm built by the Nielsen Company that analyzes how people feel about certain things, the Indians… not the Yankees… not the Red Sox… the Indians… were determined to be the most hated team.

Thanks to the Nielsen Co. we’ve finally won something. This study was done on the internet, and posted on the internet, it must be true. When has Nielsen ever got something wrong? We are talking about the same company that got Sports Night and Arrested Development cancelled. The same company that gave us a few more seasons worth of well-developed ancillary characters that were vital to the Heroes storyline.

“The algorithm worked by scouring the web for mentions of any baseball team, and then looked for words that revealed emotion or opinion, such as “hate”, “love”, “sucks”, and so forth.” I apologize, I’m part at fault for this ranking because I’m always Google Searching things like “Famous Indian People + Gandhi Sucks” and “Indian Casinos are poopy.” I’m not sure if Facebook fan pages count because I just joined “When the Yankees beat the British in the Revolutionary War, I was soooo happy,” and “I <3 Clean White Socks"

This algorithm has FAIL written all over, so here are the Top 10 Things I Think About This Study.
1. Also said NBA’s most hated team – Celtics, NFL’s most hated team –Vikings, NHL’s most hated team – Canadiens … +1 point for Racism on the internet!
2. It’s easy to hate the Indians, every time your team plays them you have a chance to win and winning isn’t everything you know.
3. If it weren’t for Johnny Depp and Disney, the Pirates probably would have past us. Arrr, I hate pirates.
4. Did Joakim Noah get to vote twice?
5. We scored a .9, they must have been taking into account runs per game.
6. Is Eric Wedge really that bitter?
7. John Rocker was only here for a year, so all you queers with AIDS and kids with purple hair on the Subway need to chillax.
8. DOES ALL CAPS COUNT DOUBLE??? WHAT ABOUT NUMEROUS EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!
9. What? Dorn bought the team and brought in Jack Parkman?
10. Imagine the screams of the Yankees fans.. “Nobody hates the Indians. PEOPLE HATE US WAY MORE!!”